tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3607441034503290367.post3089395560742922135..comments2023-08-13T19:25:45.898-07:00Comments on East Meets West: Alone in a CrowdTeresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12831169405732892599noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3607441034503290367.post-44267636253100366812010-02-14T10:59:15.431-08:002010-02-14T10:59:15.431-08:00Hi Barrie,
I think I posted this one when you had ...Hi Barrie,<br />I think I posted this one when you had book signings and promotions and then went on a writers' retreat in a monastery. I hope to get another post up today. The more theory I learn, the harder it gets to maintain the simplicity of the blog narrative...Teresahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12831169405732892599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3607441034503290367.post-14829737703581662912010-02-14T10:34:12.545-08:002010-02-14T10:34:12.545-08:00Not sure how I missed this post. And I'll have...Not sure how I missed this post. And I'll have to come back to read it again. There's a lot of information in there. I'm trying to see how it fits in with the book I just finished on North Korea. Thank you for sharing, Teresa. And Happy Chinese New Year!Barriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04678698296265168217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3607441034503290367.post-52778291466527652222010-02-08T08:54:56.346-08:002010-02-08T08:54:56.346-08:00I wanted them to understand the family dynamics.
...I wanted them to understand the family dynamics.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.workfromhomeindia.biz" rel="nofollow"> Work from home India </a>Nishanthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12461392896444120934noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3607441034503290367.post-51675353357349271382010-01-27T18:41:27.030-08:002010-01-27T18:41:27.030-08:00Hi Murat, this was one that had to be written all ...Hi Murat, this was one that had to be written all in one fell swoop or too much would be lost. So far much of the blog has been experience only, but these experiences are hard to describe without the theory as a guidepost.<br /><br />I think you are correct in saying that Pa did act as my protector in the family. He is a basically decent human being, and he has a well-developed sense of fair play. I was contributing to the family--saving their bacon, and he didn't think it fair that anyone treat me as an enemy. He promised my parents when we got married that he would treat me like a daughter since they were so far away. To this day, he still tries to keep that promise. <br /><br />The kids are pretty much trilingual. Their English did become the dominant language after we moved to the US when the twins were 2 1/2 and the baby was 15 months, but they can speak Hakka with all the relatives, and they also do quite well in Mandarin, including reading and writing. We did work out a gap year between high school and college when they went back to Taiwan for a year of intensive Mandarin study. That year pretty much capped off their language abilities. I would say though that my Mandarin is better than theirs, but especially the twins are more in-grained Chinese from the Hakka dialect. Love is Chinese at her core with some very lovely streaks of American. It is quite interesting to watch them develop into adults. <br /><br />"Organizing Silence" is a very all-inclusive book. The end of it talks about how women can turn silence upside-down and use it as a weapon of resistance and then it talks about the use of silence in aesthetics. The beginning chapters on how women are organized into silence spoke the most to me. The middle of the book is about the silence of abused women and the stigmas society places on victims of assault that make it difficult for them to speak up. It is a powerful and disturbing book.Teresahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12831169405732892599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3607441034503290367.post-76076265957071090322010-01-27T17:41:06.255-08:002010-01-27T17:41:06.255-08:00Part of the difficulty in responding earlier has t...Part of the difficulty in responding earlier has to do with the breadth of your discussion, all of which is fascinating.<br /><br />I can't remember how the tri-lingual experiment ended up with the babies. How are their original languages now?<br /><br />It was quite poignant to read of releasing your "sorrow and frustration." As verbal (and multilingual) as you are, it must have been heartbreaking to hew to the language lines drawn.<br /><br />Short of your natal family's protection, it seems that, for a time, Pa played the protector, though this may be an oversimplification on my part.<br /><br /><i>Organizing Silence</i> seemed applicable to a variety of contexts, including some recent conversations Tina and I have had about the Episcopal Church (more specifically, our diocese) and its own lingering silencing structures. <br /><br />Thanks for you wonderfully abundant ramble.murat11https://www.blogger.com/profile/00663364407992075130noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3607441034503290367.post-25854263904861397802010-01-27T03:53:36.718-08:002010-01-27T03:53:36.718-08:00Teresa: I am not done absorbing this one: a wonder...Teresa: I am not done absorbing this one: a wonderful piece, chock full of acute observations. What with my fuzzy brain of late, I'm not tracking it the way I want to, so I'll be back later for more response. Nice and meaty.murat11https://www.blogger.com/profile/00663364407992075130noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3607441034503290367.post-9516587378480056382010-01-25T21:37:26.908-08:002010-01-25T21:37:26.908-08:00Aloha to you Cloudia! It will soon be the Year of ...Aloha to you Cloudia! It will soon be the Year of the Tiger!! My brother's year to shine.Teresahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12831169405732892599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3607441034503290367.post-27061368363308324372010-01-25T19:17:32.645-08:002010-01-25T19:17:32.645-08:00Thanks for sharing this valuable info, Teresa.
Ne...Thanks for sharing this valuable info, Teresa.<br /><br />New Year is around the corner!<br /><br /><br />Aloha, Sister Friend!<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://comfortspiral.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Comfort Spiral</a>Cloudiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05853753108637831069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3607441034503290367.post-6252208340651066862010-01-25T15:44:01.843-08:002010-01-25T15:44:01.843-08:00I wrote this post because I've gotten e-mails ...I wrote this post because I've gotten e-mails from Chinese-American women married to Chinese men who are having real problems with rural Chinese in-laws. I wanted them to understand the family dynamics.<br /><br />For me, things were not quite so bad. The Lius knew I was from a different paradigm, and I always tried to create harmony in the family and build community. When things were good, everyone chose the community-building route. But always, when life got tough or stress levels were high, the ingrained social-conditioning of "wife/daughter-in-law as enemy" was the default mode. After the episode, there were tears and apologies, and life went on. It took me several years, though, to elevate the family's awareness and get them to even consider community building. And much of the time, the rhetoric is community-building, but the innate actions are more aggressive. My experience can best be described as if the people around me are Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde types. I could never figure out what I had done to cause so many Mr. Hydes to appear sometimes, but after reading Kristeva's book, I realized that in default mode, I am seen as an enemy. <br /><br />The Neo-Confucian model of marriage is different in that women are suppressed so far down, they are not considered a threat. They have no power or resources, and a good man does not fight with women. Women are cared for as fragile flowers or cherished possessions, and the men are expected to adhere to certain standards of behavior towards them. <br /><br />Peasant marriages that mirror the ancient forms can best be described as a "battle of the sexes." And then after millennia of Neo-Confucianism, the battle of the sexes has developed a heavy patina of male chauvinism. The most successful women are the women who use strategy number 2. The women who use strategy number 3 tend to have enough education that they have internalized the Neo-Confucian theories about women. And there are plenty of women who thoroughly enjoy living in the rough and tumble world of strategy number 1.Teresahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12831169405732892599noreply@blogger.com